The Therapeutic Relationship and You

by Shelley Quinones Monday, September 8, 2014

The kids tell me what bugs them about each other, repeatedly. My spouse complains about work. Friends share about their current boyfriend. I listen to it all. But who listens, really listens to me? I try to speak up, but they talk over me, interrupt, or suddenly have to go do something.

What if there was someone who would give me undivided attention, be non-judgmental, and be on my side? Man that only exists in fairy tales.

No. That kind of relationship exists in real life. There are people, gifted people, trained to be therapists and counselors who are happy to come along side you and help you identify solutions to problems.

The therapeutic relationship is special, one based on teamwork where you share valuable memories and situations and the therapist provides wisdom and guidance. The relationship starts slow as you get to know each other then as you learn to trust your teammate, you share deeper and receive deeper insights. Before you know it, you feel better and are making choices to improve your life.

This relationship might seem one sided but you deserve to make an investment in yourself that will lead to an improved sense of value and contentment with your life.

Therapy doesn’t have to be forever. You can use it as a tool to help you over a difficult bump in the road or to spur you on to greatness. You can take the time you need to process your thoughts and feelings in a safe environment. It also doesn’t have to be murky and dark. Some therapists infuse lightness and humor to help get through weighty topics while still offering respect and kindness.

Therapy is an important and valuable opportunity to gain healing and define your life in new ways. Your therapist is waiting to hear from you.

Shelley Quinones is a Licensed Marriage Family Therapist (LMFT). She is a Christian Therapist and has been in the helping field for over 23 years and Licensed for 11 of those. She has helped many people sort through depression, anxiety, and traumatic situations to find a renewed sense of peace and joy.


Healing | Intimacy | Mental Health | Mood | Mood Booster | relationships, friendships | Self-Awareness | Social Work | Therapeutic Relationship | Therapy

Therapy Feels Bad, What Do I Do?

by Shelley Quinones Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Sad MumbyTherapy is a special place. A relationship is created in order to help you feel better, or at least that's the hope. When you start therapy you have all these feelings swirling around that control your life and you want the therapist to fix it. That is understandable. However, it is a false expectation. First of all, a therapist has no magic wand to make all the pain go away in an instant. We would if we could. It is a process of small changes and insights that build to create a better, calmer, more fulfilling life. 

As you build the relationship with the therapist and start trusting (oooh bad word) them, you start revealing deeper more painful things. These things often seem scary, embarrassing, and they can hurt. The irony is the more you hold onto these feelings and negative thoughts (that are hurting you) the more you are scared to face them. When you start revealing those tender, inner parts to a trusted professional, it does seem to hurt a little more for a while. However, you find out you are strong and courageous by facing those inner struggles and the emotions start to decrease. You win. You become more confident and able to make choices that benefit you and help you reach your full potential. 

Therapy is a place to be vulnerable and take risks. Speak up. Say what you need to say. Trust yourself. You will be better off in the end for finding your voice. What a precious gift to have a place to share the depths of who you are with someone you know cares for you no matter what.

Shelley Quinones


Shelley Quinones is a Licensed Therapist in San Dimas, California. She has been in the field in various roles for over 20 years. She is trained in EMDR which helps process minor daily traumas that accumulate, or major traumas that influence daily choices, or even allows for performance enhancement. She is a Christian and believes faith plays an important part in healing. Her website is


Therapeutic Relationship


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