by Julie Davis
Sunday, September 21, 2014
Believing “black and white” (always/never/all/nothing) thoughts about yourself and others can trigger feelings and actions that harm health, relationships, productivity, and emotional stability:
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Belief
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Feeling
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Action
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I always screw up
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Ashamed, angry, hopeless, defeated
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Beat self up, medicate, screw up more, quit, isolate
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He never helps around the house
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Angry, resentful, helpless, victim,
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Nag, control, complain, fix, explain, defend, manipulate, fight
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All the good jobs are taken
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Hopeless, scared, angry
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Give up, settle, medicate, complain
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There’s nothing I can do about it
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Powerless, afraid, angry
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Give in, quit, seethe, hide,
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Over time, black and white thinking can lead to depression, obsessions, addiction, panic, rage, and trauma. Thus, it is important to “hold every thought captive!” This week, I invite you to catch your black/white thinking and reframe it in a way that leaves you feeling calm, open, flexible:
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Absolute
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Reframe
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Feeling
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Action
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I always screw up
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Sometimes I blow it.
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Humble, interested, motivated
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Improve skills, try again.
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He never helps around the house
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Sometimes he forgets/puts things off.
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Curious, collaborative
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Ask for clarity; discuss and set boundaries.
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All the good jobs are taken
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Many good jobs are taken.
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Disappointed yet determined, creative
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Keep looking. Ask for help.
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There’s nothing I can do about it
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There is something I can do.
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Curious, creative, collaborative
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Get wise advice. Ask for help.
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Julie Davis uncovers and clears up deeply embedded beliefs and unresolved emotions that keep people stuck (www.rapidresolutiontherapy.com). She also coaches people how to stay clear, calm and strategic in everyday life with healthy ways of thinking, feeling and behaving (www.juliedavismft.com). Get free weekly insight and guidance by joining Julie’s Tuesday Email service. Send “subscribe” in subject line to: julie@juliedavismft.com. Julie is a Certified Rapid Resolution Therapist, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (North Carolina, California; New York – pending), Board Certified Hypnotherapist, and New Life Network Christian Counselor (www.newlife.com). 704-807-1101.
