You walk up to a guy and say, “Hi.” He tilts his head back and roars with laughter. You say, “Hey guy, what’s so funny?” He looks you up and down, rolls his eyes and says, “You’re an idiot.”
What does all that have to say about YOU?
What does all that say about the guy?
But, you might have been taught (incorrectly) that thoughts, feelings, and opinions about you ARE YOU. Someone laughs at you, looks a certain way at you, raises voice around you, does or expresses something hurtful to you and you think it’s about you. Then you spend a lifetime trying to look and act better when It’s not – never has been – about you.
People who are late, hurtful, loud, messy, reckless, avoidant, opinionated, or anxious do not determine who you are. Their words and actions provide a lot of data about them – important for making wise decisions about who to hang out with; but has nothing to do with the essence of who you are.
This week, consider the words and deeds of others as information about them. Don’t judge that (it’s not your job). But use that information to move with/around them wisely while you are repeating to yourself, “It’s not about me,” and enjoying your day.
Julie Davis uncovers and clears up deeply embedded beliefs and unresolved emotions that keep people stuck (www.rapidresolutiontherapy.com). She also coaches people how to stay clear, calm and strategic in everyday life with healthy ways of thinking, feeling and behaving (www.juliedavismft.com). Get free weekly insight and guidance by joining Julie’s Tuesday Email service. Send “subscribe” in subject line to: firstname.lastname@example.org. Julie is a Certified Rapid Resolution Therapist, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (North Carolina, California; New York – pending), Board Certified Hypnotherapist, and New Life Network Christian Counselor (www.newlife.com). 704-807-1101.