Are you feeling disappointed in yourself or by the people in your life? Do you feel lonely even when you are not alone? Are your ideas or feelings being minimized or dismissed by your partner, or children?
Adults and children naturally feel frustrated when others don't seem "to get" them. Sometimes the harder people try the less successful they feel. If this has been your experience, you may start to wonder if you have the right to expect some of your needs will be met?
Taking a look at yourself when you are experiencing challenges in your life and relationships can feel uncomfortable. It is easier, and less uncomfortable, to see the problems in others. Although, if you are only perceiving faults in the other person then you are most likely missing something important. Relationships are dynamic, and each person plays a part in maintaining the status quo.
Understandably, many adults as children were not offered experiences of emotional safety, and taught skills in self-reflection. Many couples engage in conflicts based on assumptions that a partner "can" and "won't" when sometimes it is simply, "I don't know how." In the absence of childhood experiences of emotional safety, many adults are at a loss when a partner wants to know about their inner mental life - private thoughts and feelings.
You may be at a loss, or have some ideas about what may be getting in your way? Have you experienced the disruptive nature of your emotional reactions in relationships with your partner or children? Has setting unrealistic standards for yourself limited your ability to feel satisfied when you have done a good job? Are you a workaholic, seeking perfection in most things you do? Do you sabotage yourself in work, love, or when it comes to setting or achieving goals?
Parenting is a challenging job, children are variable, sometimes more cooperative than others. Do you get frustrated, and convey this to your children in words, voice, gestures and actions? Is this successful, or does it become more and more difficult to get your children to listen and cooperate? Many parents find themselves embattled in escalating conflicts, feeding off of each other's frustrations.
One of many therapeutic techniques that I use with clients comes from Schema Therapy, and focuses on the identification of self-limiting beliefs. The "schemas," developed early in life offer us ways of explaining our experiences. The process involves Identification of Early Maladaptive Schemas (Schema Therapy, Jeffrey Young, PhD) these are sort of like lenses or blueprints that are embedded, and forecast what we are accustomed to expecting in certain types of situations. In this process we will identify some of your emotional triggers, and understanding their origins will help interrupt automatic reactions. This is empowering, and can allow you to respond more calmly with thought rather than reacting.
My approach is relational, and I actively participate with you as we collaborate, focusing on what is important to you. In therapy, I am invested in really getting to know and understand you. My approach can best be described as eclectic, drawing from theories of development, attachment, family of origin issues, relationship dynamics, Schema Therapy, emotional intelligence, and personal & executive coaching strategies.
If you are invested in growing healthier more satisfying ways of living and relating, and want to enjoy greater ease facing inevitable challenges on life's journey - Let's talk about how I can help you.